What Does Being A Father Mean Today?
What does being a father mean today? There was a time when our only responsibility was bringing home the bacon. That has certainly changed.
Today more and more mothers are the breadwinners in family households and we fathers are taking an active role in raising our children and managing the home front. You’ve heard the phrase, a man’s home is his castle, well I feel it’s my duty as the man of the house to help make decisions about what my family eats and the products we use in addition to protecting our home. And I can’t see anything wrong with two salaries contributing to our household, even if mine were the lesser one.
On June 13, 2013 when my daughter looked at me for the first time it became really clear to me what being a father means. I wasn’t so sure during the previous nine months and having a daughter was absolutely terrifying to me. To the nervous fathers-to-be reading this: don’t read too much into your fear of not being a great dad. These are thoughts that all fathers have. Remember that no matter how daunting the birthing process might be to you, or how difficult the next six months-to- a year might be, it gets better. Be there to enjoy every moment and cherish them all. Time will fly and before you know it the little fragile person you helped to create will have your ears crying for mercy while helping you to understand what it means to have patience.
I knew immediately when Maya was born that I wanted to be there for every moment of her life, that I would do anything to protect her, and that I would love her forever. Comparing formula and
diapers, reading car seat and stroller ratings, paying attention to the products we clean with, the foods we eat, baby proofing our home, and being involved in making decisions about everything that impacts my family feels good to me and is the single greatest contributor to my pride.
Unfortunately, my dad left when I was two years old and died when I was 18. I never got to know the man that made me. But even my friends that had both parents at home shared many of the same experiences as I did being raised by a single parent. To their dads managing the home and raising the kids was a “motherly” duty. The active role that I take in raising my family comes natural to me.
I know the same is true for many fathers because I see them shopping at the grocery store, attending parent teacher conferences, and at the park playing with their children. According the Acumen Report: Brand New Man produced by Defy Media, 54% of married men shop for groceries more than their spouses and 53% of men don’t rely on their spouses to tell them what brands to buy.
I guess the question, “what does it mean to be a father” will be answered differently as each father’s journey with his children will have unique circumstances. To me being a father means that when I’m no longer living my kids will remember that I was always there, that I lived my life as example to guide theirs, and they were first in my heart always.